


Pack Up Your Hopes And Dreams

by ChloeMagea



Series: The woe of Loki Laufeyson and Sjöfn Heimdalldóttir [7]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Loki-Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Kidnapping, Loki as Odin, Love, Love Triangles, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-12
Updated: 2014-05-21
Packaged: 2018-01-15 11:22:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1303036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChloeMagea/pseuds/ChloeMagea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So since the new Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D just aired they have said that Loki sits on the throne as Odin and that pretty much destroys my two post Dark World fics. So I’m going to keep those up as an AU, but from the beginning I wanted to write this as canon compliant. There isn’t going to be a lot of smut in this part bur rather lots drama, angst and betrayal.  So this takes place right after Gravity’s Union. I’m posing this to see what kind of feed back it gets. If you guys like it I will continue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't edit this yet, please excuse typos. Short chapter.

Her dreams wouldn’t be answered, Loki had asked her to marry him and for a moment she happy until she realized what meant. Sjöfn could not believe the lengths that he was willing to go to have his throne, he would take the shape of the All-Father he would lie to them all. He had acted that if telling her the truth was a blessed gift, she should have been so lucky to know that he was dead. But that made worse for her; for she knew that he loved his title, his crown and throne more then loved her. It didn’t matter what he felt in his heart for her, but all she felt. Sjöfn wanted Loki, as himself. She had loved him at his darkest; she had suffered because of that devotion. Like a fool she had said yes to his proposal, without knowing his scheme. Her heart fluttering in her chest once she saw him, standing there after she thought he had died again. She had been so happy, until she knew his plan. That she would marry him as Odin, that they would exchange vows and now one would know. She would be his secret, but she would be his wife. Loki had said if he married her in front of court everyone would know something was wrong, the real Odin would never. He behaved as if he was bestowing something beautiful to her, but there was no excitement behind her golden eyes…only hurt.

“I love you enough to trust you, you are the only one that knows.” He had whispered in her ear while they were alone. Sjöfn looked at him over her shoulder, but she didn’t speak, only turning back around to the mirror.

“Please, let me make you happy.” Loki whispered, putting both hands on her narrow shoulders. Sjöfn yanked away from his touch, standing up and walking away. Loki tightened his lips and glanced down at the golden floor.

“Have you always been the selfish?” She uttered shaking her head.

“I’m offering you everything.” He went to say.

“No! There is only one thing that I have wanted. You!” Sjöfn’s voice cut filling the room, tears building in her eyes and falling down her cheeks. She swallowed and wiped her face, her lips twitching. Loki slightly recoiled from her hurt; he closed his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“I’m offering you The Nine and you turn me down.” He chuckled bitterly.

“You are offering for me to be secret, you are offering me to wear the weight of the truth that Odin is dead and Loki pretends to him.” She uttered her voice low. “All I have wanted was to be your wife, do have your little ones…” Loki looked away he hated seeing her cry. “To grow old with you…your ambition is great for such simple dreams of love.”

“You don’t think I love you?” He asked, striding over to her and cupping her chin. “I would pluck out the brightest stars from the sky and give them you, I would kill thousands for you.” He whispered going to kiss her but she turned her head.

“The lure of that golden throne has tugged at your heart more I could ever.” Sjöfn said, stepping out of grasp and heading to the door.

“Stay with me, my lady. Please.” He asked, reaching out his hand, hoping she would take it.

“My King, I can promise your identity is safe with me.” She said with a forced sad smile. She knew that if anyone ever found out who he was, they would kill from high treason. “But I must go and think…” Loki looked down wanting nothing more than to feel her touch against his flesh.

“I will see in the morning, then.” He unuttered, Sjöfn didn’t answer only closing the door and leaving. She sniffled and wiped the tears, her pace picking up to a trot and then a run. Her heels clicking loudly on the polished marble floor. Her rose gown billowing behind her, she swallowed as she tore down the hall. She came to a large set of doors and pushed them open. Entering All-Mother’s chambers, in that moment of being lost she forgot Frigga was not more. She had been her solace through the pain when her own mother was cold.

“Who’s there?” A voice suddenly said, slightly frightening her before she realized it was Sif who was standing on the balcony. She turned to see her friend in the doorway.

“What are you doing here?” Sjöfn asked, her voice low, it was clear by the tone she had been crying. Sif looked down, and sighed.

“I was just…thinking. The room still feels like her.” She walked from the balcony back inside. “It’s like she’s still here kind of.” Sjöfn sniffled and buckled to her knees not being able to contain herself.

“Sjöfn!” Sif said running over to her, and cradling her closest friend to the woman warrior she was crying because she had lost Loki again. She wounded what sorrow it was to lose a lover to death twice. Sjöfn sobbed against her friend holding on to her for dear life. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” Sif said, patting Sjöfn’s head as she shuddered. “It’s going to be okay, I know it hurts.” She whispered. Sjöfn didn’t say anything only crying; it was a certain type of suffering to be the only one that knew the truth. She couldn’t help but feel that his lust the throne meant worlds more than her then all the love she had ever given him, more than the blood she shed, more than the pain of losing his child. He made her feel like nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here have some sadness. Short chapter.

I

In the morning, the light filled Asgard and Loki sat on the throne in his adoptive father’s form. At the morning court, he expected to see her there. He hadn’t slept well the night before thinking about what she had said to him about his ambitions. She knew she loved him without rank, nor title, he could have nothing or be stripped of his magic and she would still love him to her dying breath. He huffed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, hearing her cry in his mind. But he knew her, she would adjust to the idea of having him in secrete it wasn’t as if she would ever leave him. Loki sat back and looked out to the members of court his eyes scanning along, but he quickly realized that she wasn’t in the hall. He looked again, he saw her mother, Lady Sif and all the others, she associated with but there was no Sjöfn.

“Lady Snotra.” He called looking down at regal woman with sharp features. She stepped forward and looked up to whom she saw as Odin.

“Yes, All-father?” Snotra asked.

“Where is your child?” He asked. The Goddess of Wisdom looked down and sighed.

“She mourns for Loki a second time, she has locked herself in her chambers. “How much pain must she feel because of your son?” She uttered gathering gasps from the court. Loki sat up straight in his chair at her words and looked down at her.

“He is dead.” He uttered. Snotra looked at him, her eyes narrowing with such hate that he thought she could see though his magic.

“Good.” She uttered. He knew that Snotra didn’t like him, but he no idea that she hated him so. The mother of his lover stood in front of him and praised his death. Loki stared at her, his pride causing him to wish he could show himself to her. Show that they all bend the knee to him, to Loki that they hate and curse. But if he wanted to keep his throne, he had to eat his ego and stay hidden. He waved his hand shooing her away, she slightly bowed and left.

* * *

 

He made his way down the empty hall, making sure no one followed him. As he came to the door of her chambers, he paused before speaking.

“Lady Sjöfn, your king request a word with you.” He put his hand on the door and it clicked open, her mother had said she had locked the door but it seemed to only react to his touch. He stepped in and instantly saw that her chambers were destroyed, tables flipped over, the bedding ripped, glasses smashed.

“Sjöfn…?” He asked. Stepping on a necklace he had given her the clasp broken and twisted. He let his illusion drop he looked around. He saw that the gown she wore last night was abandoned in a pile on the floor, he ran over to her wardrobe and pulled it open to see most of her armor armor still there, but the leather under armor and The golden vambrace that had her and his son's name carved into it was missing. He stood there for a moment, his mind trying to comprehend her thinking. That she came to her chambers in tears and destroyed her belongings, imagining her yelling as she tore her gowns and sobbed. He sat down on the edge of the bed, she left him. How could she leave him? His hurt had started to twist inside of him, he felt betrayed. She was his dove she couldn’t leave him. No matter what she thought he knew their bonds where deeper than death. He looked to his left and saw a tiny pair of clothing folded neatly unlike everything else. He picked it up and stared at it, realizing the detailed silk was meant for a baby. He clenched the fabric in his hands and was overcome with emotion he slid off of the bed to the floor sobbing. Holding the tiny clothing that he son would have worn. He knew the hurt he put her thought, but he knew she fled from him because of the culmination of anguish that was their relationship.

“No. I have to get her back.” He uttered balling up his fits. “Midgard…”


	3. Chapter 3

_The night before:_

Her sorrow had transformed into nothing more than seething jealousy. It almost hurt to keep the secret inside, Sif had thought that she was sobbing over his death, but it burned on her tongue she wanted to scream it. But if she exposed him, they would surly swing the ax and publicly execute him. Sjöfn stormed into her chambers her eyes hurt from crying, and she wished that moment she could hate him. Just a single moment when he didn’t have a hold over her heart. She trembled as she paced back and forth, trying to figure out a way where she could have him; she refused to be a secret. She deserved more than that, all that she had given him a love that few people could taste one in their lifetimes she had bestowed upon him for centuries. How could he love power more than her?

“How dare he?” She uttered before she lost herself to jealousy and hurt. She flipped over a wooden side table, causing the pitcher of wine that sat atop it to shatter. She lifted her leg and kicked over a chair, before running over to her desk, knocking over everything that sat on top of it on to the floor. She put her hands to her face and let out a scream before stubbing and falling to the hard marble. “I tried to die for you.” Sjöfn whispered, bringing her legs to her chest and rocking back and forth. There was no escape from the love she felt for him still, no matter how many times she tired to turning the feelings off for him the drumming noise in her head would stop. Sjöfn got up and wiped her face and walked slowly to her wardrobe. She pulled open the lower drawers she sniffed and ran her hands along the small unworn clothing that was folded neatly she pulled one of the tiny outfits and held it to her chest. Sjöfn it down on the edge of the bed, knowing Loki would come looking for her she wanted him to see it. She wanted him to find it and hold it knowing that it was meant for his son that neither of them would know.

 

* * *

 

She waited until it was late, before she left her chambers; she took nothing but the clothing she wore. Making the long walk from the palace to The Rainbow Bridge.

“It is late my child, all of Asgard sleeps and yet you are here.” Heimdall said, it was obvious what she wanted of him. She wasn’t dressed as she usually was, now wearing her black under armor and one gold vambrace. The dark color didn’t suit her well, he figured it was out of mourning for Loki, but he couldn’t have known untrue that assumption was. Sjöfn looked at her father with a small fake smile and shook her head.

“I think it is time for me to leave for a while.” She said, her father hummed at his child’s words.

“I feel as though I understand.” He spoke. She almost uttered, “You don’t.” But she kept it inside by biting her lip. “You’ve grieved twice now for the same man.”

“I need to leave this place.” She said, turning back and looking at the city in the distance.

“There is something wrong with it isn’t there?” She looked over at her father and wrinkled her brows at his words. “I can’t put my finger on it, but something is off.” Sjöfn looked down at the floor and nodded.

“Asgard is full of things that make me remember a better time.”

Her words made Heimdall shake his head, he couldn’t remember the last time his cherished girl laughed and smiled. Sjöfn walked past him and to the opening of The Bifrost.

“Did you tell your mother you were leaving?” He asked.

“I told not a soul. She will find out soon enough, people have more importing things to worry about than my affairs.” She said bitterly. “Besides…I always go to Midgard.” She wiped away a tear that was running down her cheek, but he knew this wasn’t a vacation this was an escape. She was running from pain, trying her best to separate herself from it. Heimdall put his sword in, activating The Bifrost.

“He loved you, you know that?” He might have hated Loki for the some of the things that happened with him and his daughter, but he knew that even if he was snake he knew he did care for her in its own way. Sjöfn didn’t say anything, only clinching her jaw. She didn’t love, she felt betrayed and nothing less and if Heimdall knew the stunt he was pulling he would have nothing but hate for him. “Be safe, child.” He told her and she nodded and with that Sjöfn was gone from Asgard.

* * *

 

Loki paced back and forth in his royal chambers. He wanted her back not he needed her back.

“She can’t leave… I’m a king.” He uttered to himself clinching Gungnir in his clammy hand. He knew that if he send someone after her without due cause he would raise suspicions, what would Odin what with Sjöfn Heimdalldóttir? He started to worry, what if the reason she left was to alert Thor? “No, she could never betray me.” Speaking as if he was reassuring himself of that fact, but he had been wrong, he thought she could never leave him and that is what she had done. Loki didn’t want to believe it, but his dove had become a threat to his throne and as much as it pained him he knew he had to bring her back.


	4. Chapter 4

She shielded the sun from her eyes, and looked up at the blue sky. Heimdall would send them down in an isolated location as to not cause any pick to the Midgardians. She took a deep breath, inhaling the clean dewy air that was in the lush green valley of flowers. She picked one of the yellow blossoms and put it behind her ear and started to walk though the valley.

Right over the herizon she saw black automobiles coming down a thin road towards her. She narrowed her eyes and recognized the symbol on one of the doors, she had seen it before when she watched Midgard though her fathers sight. She walked towards the gray road and the fleet of black slick cars came to a halt. The doors opened quickly but Sjöfn didn’t expect such hostility.

“Hand up in the air now!” One of the agents yelled pointing a weapon at her. Sjöfn gasped and reached for the sword, and then realized that she hadn't brougtt it with her, foolishly not thinking that she would need it. A young man appeared jumpy, his finger twitched and the gun went off, the builit hitting Sjöfn dead in her face. The sound of the gunshot cracking loudly around them.

“Ward, stand down!” An older man yelled. With narrowed eyes, Sjöfn brushed off the shot, to her it being nothing more than the feeling of a fly landing on skin. 

“I come in peace, I mean no harm.” Sjöfn announced, putting her hands up. The older man, who was clearly the leader walked up to her.

“Who are you?” Sjöfn instantly recognized his face, she had seen Loki murder him but here he stood.

“Philip Son of Coul,” She said, Coulson was taken a back that she knew his name and greeted him with a perfect-toothed smile. He blinked quickly, knocked off blance by her brillent and otherworldy beauty.

“I’m sorry about that, Agent Ward has been a little jumpy after…” his voice trailed off. “Who are you?”

“I’m Lady Sjöfn Heimdalldóttir of Asgard. I come in peace, I mean no harm to Midgard.” 

“What business do you have here?”

“No business, I’m…” she paused and tried to find the right words with out stating that she ran away from Asgard. “…on retreat.”

“Retreat?” he asked raising his eyebrow at her. She nodded and cocked her head to one side, fixing her golden eyes on him. “Well, we would have to take you in and debrief you.”

“Like I said, I come in peace. I will answer all questions truthfully if that would make you comfortable.”

* * *

 

Sjöfn had done as they asked; they were friends of Thor after all and had stopped Loki from taking over Midgard. She knew that she was a possible threat and found it better to cooperate with them. She sat in a room on the ‘floating ship’ she called it and waited.

“I ran facial recognition on her to see if she’s been photographed here before,” Fitz said looking down at the tablet.

“And?” Coulson asked. Fitz huffed and shook his head and hand the tablet to him.

“After digging I came up with this…” he said handed it to Coulson. Phil started at the black and white image on the screen, it was obvious that it was the same woman but the picture was dated 1927. She was grinning, barely dressed and what covered her was made out of tassels and beads, her head adorned with a large headdress of feathers.

“Any information on her when she was down here?”

“Barely any, she called herself Black Godiva and danced at the Cotton Club in New York that’s all.” Fitz noted looking down at the image. Ward walked down the hall and met the both out side of the interrogation room.

“We gonna do this?” he asked before glancing down at the picture. “Wait, that’s her?” 

“Yeah, at least she doesn’t have a hostile history.” Coulson sighed, before entering the code to activate the door, Sjöfn looked up as the door hissed open and the two men stepped inside. The door clanked shut behind them.

“Stare your name for the record.” Coulson said, she was aware that her responses were more than likely bing recorded once she noticed the security camera in the corner of the room. 

“Lady Sjöfn Heimdalldóttir of Asgard. Born of Lady Snotra and The Guardian Heimdall.” 

“The Guardian?” Ward asked folding his arms and looking down at her. 

“Yes, who do you think opens The Bifrost? The Norse called my father the God of Gods he hears and sees all The Nine, minus the things that he can’t.”

“What does that mean?” Coulson asked pulling out a chair and sitting across from her.

“Censoring magic clouds his sight, powerful enchantments. He couldn’t see Lady Foster when she was in the spaces between spaces.”

“Wait, you know Jane Foster?” Coulson interjected.

“Of course, I fought the dark elves beside Thor and....and the other warriors.

“We have no recoded sightings of you in London.”

“I didn’t get to London, I was injured on Svartalheim and knocked unconscious and then I was brought back to Asgard.”

Coulson idly tapped his fingers on the metal table and looked at her.

“Why leave then?” he asked, causing the Asgardian maiden to look down at her fingers.

“I loved someone who is gone now,” Sjöfn uttered looing down at the table and letting out a sigh. “I had to leave, every hallway, every room of that golden palace held a memory of a happier time…that why I’m here I couldn’t stand another moment in that place it was suffocating me.” It was true she felt like she couldn’t draw breath, knowing that Loki had everyone fooled. Seeing him sit on that throne wearing Odin’s face, it made her sick not because it was treason but because it hurt her heart that he wouldn’t openly love her due to his obsession for power.

“Sorry to hear that.” Agent Coulson spoke; Sjöfn looked up at him with tears in her eyes and shook her head.

“No, son of Coul. I’m sorry for what that person did to you,” she whispered, feeling so complied to apologize for Loki’s actions. Coulson sat up in his chair and Ward looked over at her both of them.

“You mean Loki?” Ward asked.

“Yes.”

“He’s dead?” Coulson asked, Sjöfn didn’t say anything lying by omission but she knew he took her silence as a ‘yes’ to his question.

“So you and Loki were a thing?

” Agent Ward asked, his tone almost insulting to her. Sjöfn turned her head to him and tightened her full lips.

“We weren’t a _thing…_ not some inconsequential summer romance. What I had with him was something that can’t be tasted during your felting lives, something all together deeper that you cannot understand nor comprehend and you should be lucky you can’t.” Sjöfn whipped a tear from her face and looked at both of them. “You mortals are like moths, you are born, you live but what is a season to us and you die. Things are much more…simple for you.” Silence fell thought the room for a moment. Ward looked down and wished he hadn’t said anything to her about it, but it he couldn’t understand how some one so beautiful could love a monster such as Loki. “I know my apology means nothing to you Coulson, but I still am sorry for what he did…” She was so sincerer with her words. “How did you even know?”

“It’s part of my abilities I’m kind of a magical conduit. I can use the magic of any relation to me by blood. I can see thought my father's sight though touch. I watched as Loki attacked your world I saw most of it.”

“Is there any other abilities we should know? Don’t tell me you can control men or something.” Coulson said he saw her expression change at his words.

“Why do you ask me that?” She questioned knowing only of a few women who could control the likes of men.

“We recently encountered an Asgardian named Lorelei…” Colson started to say but Sjöfn hissed at the name.

“Lorelei? How?” she asked, she knew the name well. Sjöfn looked over at Ward. “Is that why you shot me? You thought I was like her?”

“Well ugh, she did kind of take over me.” He uttered shifted from foot to foot.

“She was here a few days ago, that is why we were so cautious when it came to you. Lady Sif took her back-“ Once again Sjöfn interrupted Coulson.

“Wait! You mean to tell me Sify was here?” She squeaked.

“Sify?” Ward asked, the cute nickname didn’t really fit with the warrior very well.

“Me and Sif have been best friends since we were wee ones, and you mean to tell me that she came down here to get that snake Lorelei and didn’t tell me? Gods.” Sjöfn got up from her chair and paced back and forth. “No one bothers to tell me a damn thing. Did she kill her?”

“She said that Odin ordered her back alive.” Ward spoke. His words causing Sjöfn to stop her back to them. Why would Loki want Lorelei back alive, Sjöfn gritted her teeth. It hadn’t been much of a secret that before they had started there romance he had been with Lorelei. Loki had always said it was nothing more then sex for him. And that Lorelei was the one that had feelings for him simply because she couldn’t control him because his magic was too strong but why would he want her back alive? Green jealousy colored Sjöfn’s blood as she lowered her brow.

“What the fuck are you playing at?” Sjöfn uttered under to herself.

* * *

 

**Asgard:**

Loki paced back and forth in front of the warrior he hand picked, who was known for his stealth, and called Brodag The Black.

“You have a simple mission, but it is one that calls for to be discreet. If I so much hear that you uttered a word, I will have you beheaded, do you understand?” He asked to the young man who bowed.

“Yes, Odin All Father.”

“Lady Sjöfn is mentally ill and needs to brought back Asgard at once.” He turned his back to the warrior and sighed. “She have delusions that could become dangerous I want her returned but unharmed.” He lied, he knew Sjöfn was as sane as anyone but her past actions where some thing could use. No one would question that Sjöfn who tried to kill herself after his death the first time, had lost her mind and ran away and could be a danger to herself and others and needed psychological help. He had already taken precautions to shield her from her fathers sight just incase she said something that would incriminating to his true identity. “You bring directly to me, do you understand?”

“Yes, you majesty.” Brodag said.

“Now go.” Loki ordered, Brodag bowed before leaving the golden hall and Loki alone.

“Forgive me my love, but I can not let you go…” He uttered to him, feeling the weight of his lies.


	5. Chapter 5

Sjöfn had agreed to comply with the S.H.E.L.I.D protocol.  L-7 452, that stated that if DNA or Genetic Materials could be updated by an exterritorial then it would be studied for scientific benefit.

“You’ll be compensated for any specimens that you donate.” Coulson said as he ushered her down the hall to the science lab. Although to be someone that had traveled to a world with only the clothing on her back she didn’t seem a bit worried about trivial things as currency or where she would find shelter. The door to the lab hissed open, the young scientist looked up with an excited look on her face. Jemma had wondered if she would have a chance to study Asgardian physiology so closely. When Lady Sif had been there, there hadn’t been time for test or studies. They knew all about their strengths but knew little about their genetic make up.

“Lady Sjöfn this is Agent Jemma Simmons our life science specialist.” Coulson said and Jemma abandoned what ever she was working on and scurried over to Sjöfn.

“Lady Simmons.” Sjöfn greeted kindly.

“Hello. Okay, um. First it would be amazing if I could get a mouth swab.” Sjöfn didn’t really understand what she meant by the word. She watched as Jemma pulled out a small sterile kit and put on gloves.  Sjöfn looked at the white tube that had a white cotton tip.  “Could you open your mouth?” Simmons asked, Sjöfn did looking a little confused at why someone would want to rub an odd little stick in her mouth. Sjöfn made a face as Simmons pulled the swab from her mouth and then put it back in the bag.

"Strange."  She uttered to herself, they didn't have such archaic forms of medicine in Asgard. 

“Lady Sjöfn, could you have a seat right there.” Coulson said motioning to a chair.

“If you could roll up your sleeves for me that would great” Simmons smiled as she fiddled around at her work table, readying vials.  Sjöfn removed her vambrace and set it down on the table in front of her and pushed up her under armor sleeves. Coulson had to take a double take not sure if he really saw what he thought were scars on her writs but sure enough they were there. Ragged lines across delicate writs, it was obvious they weren’t from an accident or battle scars but rather self-inflicted. He knew he shouldn’t have stared at her but he didn’t understand how someone that was beyond humanity in every way would be driven to such despair. She glanced up catching him looking but she made no move to cover the raised cuts.

“Okay, I’m going to take three vials.” Simmons announced tying a tourniquet around her bicep and readying the needle. Much both of their surprise Sjöfn did, wince at the needle going in to the vain at the bend of her arm.

“Don’t Asgardians have a higher pain tolerance?” Simmons asked switching to the second vial.

“Needles are never pleasant for anyone.” Sjöfn smiled.

“Very true.” Simmons chuckled and agreed, popping out the second tube of dense dark red blood and putting in the third one. Coulson shifted nervously still keeping his eyes on the scratches, it wasn’t any of his business but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from them. “Annnnddd.” Jemma said pulling the last vial out. “You are all set.” She removed the band from Sjöfn's arm and went to label the vials. "Oh mm...I don't know how to spell your name." Simmons chuckled sounding embarrassed. 

"Oh, her let me." The Asgardian said taking the vial and marker and writing her name on the white label. "There."  She smiled handing it back to her before her and Coulson left the lab. Jemma looked down at the label and chuckled seeing the name scribed in Runes rather then English. 

"Well, I should have been more specific." She uttered. 

Sjöfn and Coulson walked back down the hallway that they had come. She had been cleared for release and had determined a non-threat to humanity and set for release. Coulson glanced over at her, about to ask where she was going now but her airy voice cut him off.

“I used to wear read ribbons around my wrists after it happened…” She paused and shook her head. “After I had done it, I’ve always been one for poetic symbolism.” She said, almost nonchalantly feeling not reason to lie, she he was perceptive for a Midgaridan. "I you noticed them, Son of Coul."

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t been staring at you. It was rude.” He uttered uncomfortably. “I just it’s odd.”

“Odd? How is it odd to you?” She asked with genuine curiosity, tilting her head. 

“You’re Asgardian, you’re an ancient. You guys just seem so beyond us I don’t understand why anyone would want but to know that even the ‘gods’ feel sorrow is an odd feeling.” Coulson said surprised that she wasn’t more guarded by the topic.

“Melancholia isn’t excusive to Midgardians.” Sjöfn told him the smile dropping off of her face he a paused for a moment watching her continue down the hall.

“Was it because of _him.”_ He asked _,_ Sjöfn stopped dead and dropped her head. Sjöfn looked over her shoulder at him.

“Yes.” She said simply, her tone turning to ice remembering all the times he hurt her.

* * *

 ** _Asgard:_**  

“Allfather are you sure?” Sif asked not sure if she heard him right, but why would Odin make something like that? It had to be the truth, no matter how upsetting it was. 

“Yes. I’m sure. She’s ill and I fear that she might do something dangerous.” He let out a sigh and tapped his fingers on the golden armrests of the thrones. “She believes that Loki’s dead, and that I’m him. I wasn’t sure if I tell any one but after thinking I’m positive that is the reason. ” Snotra let out a hiss as almost if his words impaled her gut.

“Oh Gods, she didn’t so anything inappropriate did she?” Her mother asked, she believed him and why wouldn’t she? Her daughter had tried to kill herself when she thought Loki had died but now he was gone. Of course she couldn’t handle it. Loki behind Odin’s illusion shook his head at her question.

“No, she only told me that she knew the truth and was forced to tell her that wasn’t real and so she left. I fear she’ll do something, she’s not in her right mind and can be dangerous.”

“Send me.” Sif offered quickly, she knew what Sjöfn had done the first-time remembering the horrible sight of her almost bleeding out on the healing table. Her mind wondering to darker places, that maybe Loki had succeeded in making her his mirror. Causing her pain and devastation to be twisted in to wrath, they all knew too well what could happen when it came to that.

“Thank you Lady Sif but I have already sent someone to retrieve her.” He said putting his hand up. There was no way he would allow Sif of all people to retrieve her. They were far too close of friends and if Sjöfn told her the truth she would possibly believe her.

“If I may ask All father, what do you suggest be done with her once she is returned if she does something…” Snotra asked, her tone slightly nervous.

“Sjöfn doesn’t need a punishment, she needs help.” Her mouth let out a sigh at his words and put her hand on her chest. She was worried that he would throw her in the dungeons if his concerns were realized and she acted out. “You can rest easy Lady Snotra.”

“Thank you All father.” She bowed.

“You are dismissed, you will be the first to know when she’s returned.” Sif bowed to him also and her and Snotra left the throne room. “Guards you may take your leave.” He ordered to the two men that stood by his side. They both nodded and left the hall as well leaving him with complete silence and still.

“Why are you doing this?” He whispered as if she could hear him and answer. He already knew what she would say, he knew her reasons and if he had been any one else he would have understood but there was no letting her go, and he knew that the same was for him to her. He would do anything to have her back and silenced wanting his throne and his dove. While she, with adolescent fixation would go to all ends to have her Loki…with out his throne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It will pick up I promise. Also Coulson is adorable lol.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, this chapter is pretty short but I wanted to get it up because the next one is going to be pretty long. I have been milling around with ideas on this fic and I think I have worked out any kinks that I thought up.

Loki paced back and forth, the burgundy cape flowing behind him. He chewed the inside of his check and turned around when the doors to the throne room opened with a clank.

“All-Father, Brodag The Black.” One of the guards announced with a bow. Loki narrowed his when he realized that Sjöfn was nowhere to be found. He showed away the guards and the doors closed leaving only the false king and the warrior.

“My king.” Brodag said as he bowed, his voice muffled by the black covering he had over it, only leaving an opening for his eyes to see.

“I requested you to retrieve Lady Sjöfn and bring her to me.” Loki said turning away so he didn’t see him gnash his teeth, he didn’t want to see _too_ personally invested in the woman that was supposed to be the lover of his dead son.

“My King, please forgive me.” Brodag uttered, with a wince.

“She refused to return…” Loki uttered, if he pushed it he knew that he could come off as suspicious.

“Yes, my King. She put up a fight I only returned to Asgard because I needed my wounds to be healed.” Loki turned around and motioned for him to stand. Brodag got to his feet and stood at attention.

Injuries?” He asked. Brodag lifted his hands and pulled down the covering on his face, Loki kept his face emotionless when he saw that the left half of his face was scorched. He had seen her do that before, to a dark elf when they battled them he knew that the damage that it could do when she tried. It was just shocking that she had went to those lengths to stop him from bring her back to him. There was hurt that burned though him, did she not want to return that bad? Was it possible that she heated him now? How bad did he harm her with his ambition to make her do her worst and shot messenger?

“What happened?” He asked. Brodag hung his head and took a breath feeling defeated.

* * *

**_Midgard_ **

-

_Sjöfn was simply walking, down a desolate road, she moved with almost no purpose. Not knowing where she was headed. Coulson had asked what she would do after she left she didn’t really have anything in mind. The only thing that she had asked was that she be given the location of Jane Foster in the hopes that Thor would be her. Seeing a friendly face would help her current mind frame…but that would come later, she just wanted to breathe for a while with out having to think. Just some peace, and the cool weather of the English countryside granted that to her. It was late; maybe she should use the paper currency that was given to her for her cooperation by S.H.I.E.I.D and find a place to lay her head for the night.  Suddenly she dropped when she saw something a head. A person but not Midgardian, this far in the dark distance she could tell that who ever it was, was Asgardian._

_“Who are you?” She asked her voice cutting the open air. Brodag moved towards her. “I asked who are you?” She said again, she was defensive for a second thinking that Loki himself had come to get her. But he wouldn’t, he loved that throne too much to even move off of it, not for her and not for the likes of her._

_“I come on the half of The All-Father.” Brodag announced, his orders were clear that she was to be returned with no serious injuries. Sjöfn wouldn’t let him get too close to her, backing up and getting in to a defensive position_.

_“And what would the powerful All-Father want with me?” She hissed._

_“I’m to return you to Asgard.”_

_“Why?” He knew of her and how she was a rabbit hearted girl, known for her beauty and kindness, but also of the passion that her and the late-disgraced prince had shared. Everyone knew the story that had travailed by gossip of how the lovesick beauty had tried to kill herself after thinking that he was dead._

_“My lady, you aren’t well…”  Sjöfn lowered her brows at his words. “The your family and king are worried about you, please come with me.” He said being diplomatic but he could tell that it only enraged her._

_“Sick…?” She uttered to herself. She knew instantly what he had told them, he would twist everything to make her seem insane. Angry tears ran from her golden eyes as she snarled. “How dare he?” She uttered._

_“My lady, please I do want to force you.” Brodag spoke, but Sjöfn wasn’t listening only having a twisted feeling of rage and hurt bite at her insides. “The king…” He started to say._

_“Fuck the king!” She yelled, her spiteful words cutting the air like blades. Brodag took a step back and stared at her._

_‘That is treason against Asgard to speak words like that.”_

_“Treason?” She laughed. “Don’t you dare talk to me about what treason is…if you want to know what true treason is ask the man you call ‘all-father’” She hissed clinching her first.  “I’m not going.”_

_“I have orders, my lady.”_

_“I’m not your lady.” Sjöfn cut, glancing over to her right. She knew she could possibly slip away from him being small for an Asgardian did give her a slight edge when it came to speed. She went to take her chance moving as quick as she could. Brodag went after her, catching up and grabbing her from behind. He was shocked when she reached her hand up and the light blasted from her palm. The heat instantly burning the skin of his face, the pain instant rattling though him as he screamed. Sjöfn used her opportunity to get away, knowing that he was temporally blinded.  Brodag gritted his teeth feeling the pain from the burn radiate though his skull, he blinked his eyes quickly, seeing speckled dots but nothing else. By the time the ground came in to view Sjöfn had been long gone, receding back in the Midgardian country darkness all the wiser to his plots._

* * *

 

Loki stood there, he didn't express how he felt keeping it inside under the mask of magic. She knew now what he had done, what he had said and it was obvious that she wouldn't cooperate with his wishes. 

"I can return if you order me to do so." Bordag said, orders from the All-Father were to be done without question and he had failed.

"No, let her go." Loki said turning away, he knew that there was only one person to get her to come back. She had grown rather stubborn, at one time when he moved she moved like they were connected. Loki felt a stab in his heart when he remembered that they had been bound at one point in time long ago when they were happy. He wondered for a moment what things would have been like if he had never broke that bond bound in blood and lust. She would be there, unable to ever leave him...For the first time he coursed setting her free. He glanced back over to the throne, the golden metal calling him. He knew she would do anything say anything to have him to herself again and he was willing to also. Both of them selfish with each other, their fixation calling them to do things normal people wouldn't but he knew the only question was, which one of them would strike first and how hard?  


	7. Chapter 7

Sjöfn hadn’t thought about the possible repercussions of her hurt and anger. Just that it was there and it stung gut and heart, how dare he? He had been one to tell her the truth; in some ways she wished that he had let her think that he was dead. At least she would have believed that he had some bit of redemption No matter how small, it would have been something that she could cling to forever. But instead his selfishness preceded him; she wanted him to know betrayal from her hands. To know that his ‘dove’ had sought vengeance. And the only person that could assist her in that plan was that would have been king, Thor.

Sjöfn stood outside the door of the Midgardian dwelling in London, she had only asked Coulson for Jane Foster’s location because she knew if she found Jane she would find Thor. It had been decades since she dawned Midgardian clothing. She smoothed the flower-patterned dress and shifted slightly. She put her hand up and knocked, forgetting her strength and denting the wooden door.

“Oops…” Sjöfn mumbled. The door flew open but it wasn’t Jane, it was another woman, with long brown hair and full lips. Darcy stared at up Sjöfn, and blinked quickly. From being around Thor so much she realized that Sjöfn wasn’t human. Asgardian’s had a different aura about them. “Um hello… does Lady Jane live here?” she asked looking behind Darcy.

“You’re from space aren’t you?” Darcy asked wanting to make sure her feeling was right; Sjöfn looked down at her and smiled. 

“Yes.” Asgard wasn’t really space but Midgardian’s did get confused about it so she just agreed with it.

“Shit, how rude of me! I’m Darcy.” She introduced herself.

“Hello Lady Darcy, I’m Sjöfn Heimdalldóttir.” Darcy’s eyes widened at her name.

“Oh that is even harder to pronounce the Myeuh-muh…” she uttered. Sjöfn went to question that meant but she heard something behind her. She turned around to see a car pull up, the passenger door opened and Sjöfn saw him. Jane stepped out of the driver’s side and her eyes widened with surprise to see her.

“Sjöfn?” Thor asked. She would have chuckled at how he was dressed, the simple clothing a far cry from what she was used to seeing him in but she couldn’t smile, coming undone at the sight of a friendly face. She ran towards him and grabbed him in to a tight hug and started to sob. “Sjöfn….oh its okay.” He assumed she was there because of Loki’s death. Guessing that she couldn’t stand to be in Asgard without him. Jane walked around with an apprehensive expression. She had worried about her after seeing how she screamed and cried as she held on to Loki’s corpse, that kind of anguish wasn’t healed so easily.

“How about you come inside and I’ll make you something to eat.” She said trying to comfort the crying goddess. Sjöfn sniffled and nodded her head.

* * *

 

Sjöfn looked down at the drink that Thor had put in front of her.

“What is it?”

“It’s coffee, it’ will make you feel better. Drink it.” Thor smiled taking a seat across from her the kitchen table. Sjöfn sniffled and took the mug and put it to her lips. The warmth of the beverage heating her insides and slightly calming her.

“Mm.” she hummed closing her eyes.

“Do all Asgardians have a weakness for coffee?” Darcy asked, she was happy that Sjöfn didn’t decided to smash the glass like Thor had done the first time he had it. Jane glanced over and flipped the pancakes that she was making, the only thing that she could make in bulk at such short notice knowing the appetite that they had. “All done.” Jane smiled putting down the plate of cakes in front of Sjöfn with maple syrup and a fork.

“Thank you Lady Jane, you are most kind.”

“Jane I wouldn’t mind-“ Thor went to say.

“I know I made you some too.” Of course she had to, he did eat more then one she had ever met. She put the plate down and Thor was already picking at the top one with his fork before the plate even touched the table.

“Hey what about me?” Darcy pouted. Jane rolled her eyes and flopped another pancake on a plate for her intern. “Thank you Jane” She grinned.

“Yeah, yeah. So Sjöfn wh-“ Jane stopped looking up at the goddess who had cleared her plate of four pancakes and wad dabbing her mouth clean.

“Damn.” Darcy noted. “Where the hell did you even put all of that?”

“I’m sorry, I haven’t eaten since I was released from S.H.E.I.L.D custody.” She said taking another drink of the coffee.

“S.H.E.I.L.D?” Thor asked.

“Yes, not long after I landed from The Bifrost they came and detained me. They wanted to see if I was threat or not, I understand their concern.”

“Why did you come?” Thor finally asked, now done with his own plate. Sjöfn looked down at the black coffee in the teal mug she couldn’t stop herself from speaking the truth diving from her lips.

“Loki is alive.” The room fell silent for a second and Thor blinked and shook his head. “He is pretending to be Odin.”

“What?” He asked, there was no way. He saw his father before he left, he had talked to him. “Sjöfn that is impossible. We saw him die, you…you held him in your arms….”

“He is alive, it I the truth.” She didn’t look up at him her eyes still focused on the blackness in her cup.

“Sjöfn …please.” Thor reached out across the table and held her hand. “Loki is dead…he died in my arms. Even with all of his magic there is no coming back from death, you know this.” He stressed, she finally looked up at him and shook her head frantically.

“Even with all of his magic he could have planned it. Don’t you see? He didn’t give his life up to save you…it wasn’t for redemption for his sins….he fooled us..” Tears ran down her cheeks and she tightened her expression and yanked away from his touch. Thor couldn’t be live what he was telling him, he knew Loki had the ability to be a treacherous snake but this was too far gone. Especially because he didn’t be live that Loki would allow her to think that he was dead for a second time knowing that actions she took against herself t he first time. Sjöfn stared at Thor as he shook his head and sat back.

“How do you know this?” he asked.

“He showed me.” She sat back in the chair and sighed. “After I had insisted that you both leave me back Svartalfheim, I had decided that I had help you. I got up but I was hit by something and knocked unconscious. When I came to I was back on Asgard, the king had ordered to see me and… it was him…” Thor and let out a heavy sigh at her words. “I want you to return back to Asgard and take your throne and once you do…banish him.” She said, her golden eyes widening, he could see that she spoke without clarity. There was insanity to her face, her words were driven out of nothing but a mix of hurt and pain that as easy to spot. He couldn’t help but see the delusion of a woman who had been twisted and gutted by the events of the last few years. “He sent someone to retrieve me, why would Odin care about what I do?”

“It was probably at the request of your mother. Sjöfn please…” Thor uttered, concern in his blue eyes that had once gave her comfort though trying times she had, but now he looked at her as if she were sick in the mind.

“You don’t believe me?” She uttered with a sad smile. Jane and Darcy looked at each other, the hurt on her face was wrenching. Sjöfn contained the build up of agony that bit at her chest. “What should I have expected? You have everything….” She uttered glancing over to Jane, her golden eyes cutting with bitterness. She stood up and brushed the wrinkles out of her dress with no other words she moved to the door.

“Sjöfn! Wait!” Thor called after her jumping up from the table and running after her. He grabbed her by her arm as she quickly walked down the driveway. Sjöfn whipped around and slapped him across the face and pushed him back. He stared at her in shock as she backed away from him, her lips trembling. If she were closer he would have reached out and hugged her, as he knew he should have that night after she had kissed him due to her horrible grief. He swore he saw a glint of that same expression ghost across her face in that spilt second. “Sjöfn please let me help you.”

“…I don’t need anyone…I’ll prove it to you…” she said before leaving her sadness in her wake.

* * *

 

Everything was twisted, backwards and turned inside out for her. Sjöfn felt lost the feeling of disconnect was only rivaled when she had shuttered on the healers table after cutting herself open. Who was she fooling? If she made any attempt to expose him, he could have her imprisoned. Sjöfn sighed as she rested her back against the wall of the hotel room where she was staying for the moment. She wondered in silence how far he would go to keep his throne. Was it past him to completely silence her for the sake of his power? She was mentally worn out, and Midgard hadn’t held the same fancy it once did to her, but it was better then returning to Asgard, and being ‘ _Poor Sjöfn_ ’ once again. Maybe one hundred years of solitude would be good for her, assume a name like she had done before but rather for entrainment it would be out of necessity to keep her sanity that Loki had rendered fragile. Sjöfn rubbed her face and turned on the television just to have some noise to occupy her rattling mind.

_“The U.S government has yet to comment on their relationship with the spy organization known as S.H.I.E.L.D…”_

Sjöfn stopped at the newscaster’s words and she turned to look at the screen.              

“What the…” She uttered looking at the devastation on the screen. There was scuffing noise outside of her hotel door. Sjöfn froze and looked over, seeing shadows under the doorframe. The hairs on her neck stood up from intuition, but before she could move the door was blasted off of it hedges and flew right towards her. She ducked quickly and avoided it, out of instinct her light magic flared up in her hands. Through the dust and smoke she saw a yellow and orange light, which instantly reminded her of Odin’s Destroyer. She went to duck out of the way but she was too late. The blast hitting her directly in the chest, she flew backwards crashing in to a wall, a mix of concrete and drywall crumbling and flying everywhere. Sjöfn got up and gnashed her teeth, running towards her attacker with the intent to kill. She hadn’t realized that she number of attackers that were after her. She didn’t bother herself with the “why” of their hostility. Reaching out she grabbed for the first person she could and broke his neck. Another gun shot at her but she dodged it. She spun around and kicked another directly in his chest, the force of it causing his chest to cave in. She snarled as she was shot again, the pain burning her back.

“We need her alive!” One of them yelled. There was a loud explosion, the shock of it throwing her back. Her ears rang and her vision went blurry. Sjöfn felt the taste of blood in her mouth as she tried to stand again. The technology they had was far too advance to be of Midgard to render her so weak. She fought against her body trying her best to fight through the pain but she lost and fell to the floor trembling.

The voices spoke two words about her defeat.

“Hail Hydra.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What better weapon is there then an Asgardian?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might have a few typos, I was in a hurry to get this up.

Loki stepped in to the chamber that once was his mothers; coming to the stone vat that she had used to see him while he is imprisoned. Only the magically inclined could use it to send an illusion of oneself to another. He knew that in theory he could use it to see Sjöfn but he didn’t know how far his magic would reach. Loki stood there for a moment running his hand long the stone, he could have sent Brodag back to attempt to retrieve her but…he felt a sorrow knowing that maybe, just maybe she didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. He didn’t want to admit that was a possibility but it was. He had thought long and hard about her leaving him, he didn’t want to see the fact that was right in front of him but he could understand now that she had taken her golden beauty from his realm. He had brought such pain to her in the last few years that seemed like nothing in their long lives he had put her though so much. Centuries of happiness seemed to be undone like it was nothing. “Show her to me.” Loki whispered waving his hand, the image was full of interference, he squinted his eyes as the picture became clearer. For a second Loki was unsure of what he was beholding when the realization struck him Gungnir slipped from his hand and filled the loud clank filled the empty chambers with an echo.

He saw Sjöfn laying on a table clearly unconscious, her hands and arms were shackled to the metal, her face was battered and what he saw was a Midgardian dress had been torn and burnt.  She had needles and tubes driven in to her flesh.  He stood there and stared at the image of her for a moment, his gut felt as if it had dropped to the floor. He looked up and behind her there was a symbol on the wall of a skull with six tentacles. He hadn’t felt rage like none other; it boiled through him like a white-hot fire. Loki gnashed his teeth and reached in to the fuzzy image as if he was attempting to touch her face. In that moment the golden throne seemed far from anything when compared to her battered and captured like an animal. Loki knew he had to do, even if it meant possibly exposing himself as fake such treason was punishable by beheading. All forms of scheming and self-preservation were gone with his wrath leaving only the want to kill who ever harmed her.

* * *

“She’s perfect.” An older man said standing over Sjöfn’s form. He looked down at a file, the envelope having the S.H.E.I.L.D symbol on the back of it. It had been untainted when the organization fell all of the information about other worldly beings was now in the hands of Hydra. “Since we’ve lost The Winter Solider we need an edge.” He said to woman by his side. They had lost James Buchanan Barnes after Project Insight had been forted by the Captain America and the remnants of S.H.E.I.L.D, and they assumed that he was killed.

“This was a bad idea.” The woman spoke rubbing the bridge of her nose. “This isn’t like kidnapping one super human.” Her eyes glanced down at Sjöfn who was obviously dreaming by the way her eyes flickered behind her lids. “This as an Asgardian we know how strong they are. What if someone from up there comes to rescue her?”

“Coulson’s notes on her say that she came on her will, she wasn’t sent here. She’ll be relatively easy to control if we can figure out Asgardian neurophysiology…she has a history of self harm.”

“They would have done a recorded interview on her? Do you have the tape of that?”  The woman asked crossing her arms and tapping her heel on the clinical white floor.

“No, Ms. Kreek…” He said looking down. She narrowed her eyes and took a step towards him.

“She could be a goddamn princess for all we fucking know, you and your men could have just started an interstellar war. If this goes to hell.” she put her long finger in his face. “It’s on you Doctor Caralton.” She hissed before tuning and leaving the science lab. Caralton uttered something under his breath about her being a bitch.  Sjöfn let out a groan and slowly wrinkled her brows from the pain that she felt.

“Hit her.” He said directing his attention to the other scientist behind a glass window of the lab

One of them nodded before hitting a switch. Sjöfn’s body jumped and her eyes flung open as they electrocuted her. She let out a shriek and foamed at the mouth. “That should be good.” He said, Sjöfn’s body dropped lip and her eyes rolled in to the back of her head. “I wish we had a strong enough sedation…” He muttered to himself, ignorant to who she was and to whom thought of her as _his._

Security at the base was tight and they had no less then four men watching the cameras at all times. It became very a very boring job given the bases remote location in the Arizona desert, but on this day they were all surprised when the outside cameras picked on something what ever it was it tripped the weapons system they didn’t fire yet, only coming online waiting for orders.

“Who the hell is that?” One of the guards said sitting up in his chair eyeing the screen. They other men all looked, at the figure that was walking closer.

“What is going on, why are the weapons online?” Kreek asked stepping inside of the security both.

“Ma’am we are picking something up on visual.”

“Is it the government or S.H.I.E.L.D?” She asked and for some reason she felt as something horrible about to take place, she nervously swept a piece of her blonde hair behind her ear.

“No Ma’am it is one person.” Another guard said glancing over to her. “Should we fire?”

“Yes, kill who ever it is.” At her orders the guns came alive and fired directly at the trespasser they all saw the smoke and sand engulf the area around the person. Each gun was equipped with a thousand high caliber rounds that could rip a human apart. The guns stopped shooting and Kreek was sure that who ever was, was now nothing more then a pile of meat. “Send out a few men to collect the remains…will incarnate it and…”

“No fucking way.” One guard said while the others looked at the screens in shock. Kreek looked down and couldn’t believe what she saw. Who ever it was, was still alive. Walking through the plume of smoke and dust, as it was nothing. Now close enough for the camera to pick up the face of the trespasser. There was silence for a moment as the black haired, pale man stared up at the camera. He had only one single cut on his cheek; he wiped the blood away with his thumb and then put it to his mouth and licked it away.

“Holy fuck is that?...”

“Loki…” Kreek uttered in unspeakable terror as Loki reached up with both hands and punched though the bunker door as if it were nothing more cardboard. The alarms blared thought the base causing mass panic and confusion no one else knew who was coming. They had orders that if the bunker was ever comprised to defend it and Hydra at all costs, but none of them knew what they were running right in to. They never stood a chance, the first five men didn’t even have time to process who they were looking at and even before the wheels in their heads could even begin to turn he had slit their throats with his dagger. Leaving them to choke and bleed out on the floor. Kreek ran as fast as she could, she had orders to protect the base but she refused to die there by his hands. There was a back way out of the bucker that not many knew of that lead to a series of tunnels but when she turned the corner she saw him and he stared back with his green gaze and a smirk came to his lips.

“Well, well, well isn’t this interesting.” Loki said. “Out of all of the agents I run in to you Amber Kreek.” Of course he would remember the woman that was a S.H.E.I.L.D agent that had interrogated him after New York. She just stood there knowing there was nothing she could do. “My hands aren’t shackled this time.” Loki stepped towards her leaving bloody boot prints on the white floor, he was even more terrifying then he had been before she had wondered how such a thing were even possible. “If I remember correctly you attempted to use your feminine "talents" to get me to tell the truth.” Amber Kreek’s teeth chattered and she trembled like a child. He laughed and shook his head. “As if offering your worn out Midgardian cunt to me would make me spill my secrets to you, when you think about it…it’s quite funny really." Loki rubbed his chain as if he were pondering. "But there is one woman whose pussy is so sweet that I would kill for, my lady love.” Amber started to cry pathetically and shook as got closer to her. “Have you seen her, petite for an Asgaridan, a pretty thing she really is. Dark skin, brown curls, eyes like the sun…” He reached up and grabbed her by her neck and squeezed. “Have you seen her.” He asked the calm was gone and now there was only wrath in his face. Amber choke and gasped for what little air she could. “I will crush your fucking wind pipe you little bitch. Point me in the right direction and I might let you live.” He hissed only an inch away from her face; she lifted her arm and pointed to the west hall.

“Lab.” She choked out.

“Thank you.” He smiled. “Oh and by the way…I said might.” Fighting was pointless he was far too strong as his grip tightened on her neck killing her with ease it were like stepping on an ant. 

He came to the lab door and pulled it open he expected to see her bound to the table still possibly abandoned while they all scurried like rats for there own lives. But he was surprised when the door hissed open to see her standing in the middle of the room, her face was bloodied and he quickly realized that it was a rather large nosebleed.  She was looking down, a the floor rubbing her arms that were bruised by the metal she was restrained in. There were six bodies that littered the ground one of them was obviously too close to her when she used her light magic his head was nearly burnt away. The others clearly had broken necks.

“Sjöfn…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki doesn't fuck around.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of the canon storyline for Loki and Sjöfn...for right now. I'm really proud of this, and I hope you enjoy it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Civil Wars, The Weekend and Garbage's #1 Crush on repeat. I think that came across.

“Sjöfn…” Loki uttered the sound of his voice calling her to quickly look up at him. She wrinkled her brow at the sight of him as if trying to contemplate the person in front of her. “Darling?” Loki asked stepping closer to her, she stood there presumably in shock, the needles and tubes they had had inserted in to her still buried in her flesh.  He reached out for her, taking her by her face and wiping the blood that was seeping from her nose away. Sjöfn raised her hand without speaking, punching him square across his jaw. Loki staggered to one side and held his face, wincing slightly but knowing he much more then deserved it.

“What are you doing here?” She hissed, ripping the intrusive needles out of her arms biting back slight groans of pain.

“I came for you.” Loki said clinching his fists, looking down to the floor that was covered with broken medical equipment, glass and the bodies of the Midgardians she had killed only out of necessity and self-defense.  Sjöfn narrowed her eyes at him, she knew more then most to be skeptical of his words that could drip with love yet having hidden venom and alternate selfish intentions. Sjöfn went to speak but Loki grabbing her arm cut her words short. His eyes watching the blood seep from one of the puncture marks. He moved her forearm to his mouth, tasting her the red liquid. The act not something he hadn’t done before, taboo yet deeply intimate. The last time he savored her sharply metallic taste he had uttered the curse that bound them together. That single act of selfishness had been the catalyst of the horror he caused her. Loving someone so much that one would burn and twist them all for the sake of keeping them. He held her like a gilded butterfly he had long known that his grip and obsession for every inch of her was the very thing to crumble her.

“You’re the devil.” Sjöfn breathed trying her best to hate the feeling his pink lips against her skin but it was in vain. “The Father of Lies…” She yanked away and slapped him again. He groaned at the bitting sting on his cheek.

“I didn’t come to bring you back. I came purely to make sure you were safe.” He whispered.

“How can trust anything you say?” Sjöfn said pushing past him, she staggered but hissed at his touch when he tried to assist her. “You coming here was stupid..if anyone ever found out about you they would cut your head from you neck.” She said, reaching out the hallway wall to stable herself.  Loki grabbed her forced her to look at him in the red flashing alarm lights of the hall.

“I don’t fucking care!” He said grabbing her by her face. “I don’t care, I couldn’t let anyone hurt you I had to-“

“You’ve hurt me plenty.” She said coldly, Loki stared at her, tears brimming over and falling down his cheeks.

“I-I have no one but you.” He sobbed, his mother was dead and Thor was gone. He had his throne but he was alone, there was no one else he felt loved him. 

“Such a bittersweet thing to have everything you’ve ever wanted and yet holding on to nothing at all.” She said yanking away from him. Loki was in shock; did she mean that she loved him no longer? Had he plucked and snipped her last heart sting, had this all be too much for her, the Goddess of Love to forgive? He fell to his knees in front of her, the act giving her pause.

“I deserve to bleed for the pain I’ve put you in, for the things I’ve put you through.” He whispered. “I have done terrible things in the name of my love for you, acts that I will never forgive myself for.” Loki felt physically sick thinking about the bond he made linking them together with out her knowledge and even worse when he broke that bond and the sacrifice that it coast, the life of his own son still in her womb.

An act so vile that he was sure she wasn’t aware of, because if she had been she would have surly killed him, but her blissful ignorance was something he could never be blessed to have. His hands were coved with blood of the those he should have protected. His unborn son, Sjöfn’s when she had slit he wrist her in her great call to Hel when she wanted nothing more then to be in death with him when she had thought he died the first time….even the death of his most beloved Frigga was on  _him_. A moment that no one knew but him.

When he told that beast where to go out of pure revenge, that same beast drawing its blade and driving it in to the woman who raised him.  His sins were vast and unforgivable; he wouldn’t dare ask her to absolve his actions, because if he couldn’t forgive himself how could he dare ask her to?

“Don’t deserve what you’ve given me, but I deserve to bleed for my actions. I’ve earned agony at your hands to pay my price for the horrors that I’ve done to you.” Sjöfn couldn’t believe what was saying, this wasn’t words he would ever speak before.  The man that she knew wouldn’t dare utter the wrong that he had done. Loki had always made excuses for his actions, and blamed others for his viperous potential. There was no self-pity there, not shielding armor of pride to deflect what he done, in that moment there in that flashing red lit hall on Midgard he was exposed like a nerve. The desperation in his voice was clear and she wondered if is what he sounded like as he hung off of the edge of The Bifrost before falling to what he hoped was his death.  His thin disguise melting away to show a Loki that she hadn’t seen since they were in their younger days.

“If I can’t have you…”  He whispered reaching for his dagger and handing it to her. “Then why should I spend any more time in this world?” He asked looking up at her, as if she could give him a reason. Sjöfn didn’t speak; she couldn’t only staring at the glinting dagger the same one she used to cut herself open.

“Blood for blood. Take it.” Loki urged with a face lacking in any sort of manipulation or plots, there was no mischief, only sorrow. “Take it!!” He yelled holding on the blade causing it to slice his palm. Sjöfn took it from him not able to watch as he harmed himself.  “I have nothing, else to give you to atone for the things I have done.  I only have my life, the only thing I can give you to prove how much I love you is this Jotunn life…for what ever it is worth to you and all of you’re perfection that I worship.” He said lifting his head and exposing his neck to her, he closed his eyes.

He knew she had every right to kill him there, this was no trick just his bare emotions every feeling there for her to behold and witness his weakness. The dagger dropped from Sjöfn’s hand on to the hard floor echoing with a clack.  Before he could open his eyes, he felt her hands reach down and grab him by his collar and yanked him feet. She pushed him roughly against a wall, and kissed him with what he was sure was a culmination of every emotion she had for him. He could taste love, fixation, and even the tiniest trace of hate in her saliva. She bit him, hard on his lip before sucking on his tongue. Loki slid down the wall, his back propped up against it. Sjöfn took full advantage straddling him still kissing him viciously. Loki panted for air, rubbing his bloody hand up her thigh, bucking his hips when she grabbed him by his hair and pulled his head back gathering a hiss from the back of this throat. They didn’t need to speak; she only lifted off of him slightly allowing him to franticly yank at the laces of his trousers he sighed watching her pull as aide the underwear that was under the brut and ripped Midgardian dress that she wore. Sjöfn spat on her fingertips and applied it between her folds before she grabbed the base of his cock and lowered herself down on to him. She winched slightly at the friction caused by not being wet enough but she ignored it. Moaning breathlessly when she felt him fully inside of her.

“Do you still love me?” Loki asked against the crock of her neck, darting his tongue out to taste sweat and salt on her skin.

“Yes.” Sjöfn said simply driving her hips up and down, Loki moaned feeling her grow wetter around him.

“Then-ah- then will you return with me?” He asked as she propped her hands on his chest and leaded back, her ample hips grinding with out a rhythm. Sjöfn didn’t say anything only taking his hands and putting them on her hips Loki held in his words as he held her steady and thrust up in her as fast his he could.

“AH!” Sjöfn choked, moans echoing through the empty silent hall arching her back, she looking up to the ceiling. The red flashing lights and the feeling of his nails digging in to her hip, he growls, the wet sound of his cock inside her and how deep he was. Everything together caused her to reach the conclusion that if she died just then she would be fine with it.

“Ah…fuck…I don’t want to come.” She whimpered. She didn’t want it to be over, wishing that they could stay like this forever. Sjöfn wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his shoulder but Loki didn’t stop. Gnashing his teeth, as he felt her start to quiver around him.

“Let me feel you. I want to feel you.” He panted, Sjöfn whined against him before feeling her eyes rolling the back of her head. She crying out his name over and over again likes prayer, her body jolting and shuttering. Her voice was like an angel sighing to him, nothing less then beautiful. Loki stopped thrusting; holding her down as he shuttered and twitched inside of her.

“Sjöfn!” he called his voice sounding hoarse and worn, he panted and his whole body went limp.  He was always in awe at how she could draw the life out if him, leaving him dazed in that after glow when there was nothing but her pressed up against him. She lifted her head off of his shoulder and looked at him, even after hundreds of years and pain there was still that certain gaze she had, like a teenager falling in to the early stages of love at one foolish glance.

“You still have my love.” She whispered.

“But you won’t return?”

“Not yet.” She said getting off of him. Him bearing his soul to her that day made her realized that he did love her. She had questioned it before but now that question was gone. Loki straightened himself back up and got to his feet. His wish of having her come home had been shattered but he tried to think of it as how she had left many times before to Midgard, taking a name and living a human life for her own entertainment.

“As long as your heart is mine.” He breathed kissing her. “Then I can make that compromise.”

“If I have you, as well.” Sjöfn said as they both left compound, leaving behind the dead that tried and failed to make her a weapon. They felt the dry desert meet her face once they reached the outside.

“You should get to back to Asgard, before anyone realizes the King is gone.” She said turning to face him.

“I should shouldn’t I? He smiled sadly before taking her hand and kissing it.

“Good bye for now…” Sjöfn sniffled, her hand lowly slipping from his as they went their separate ways the red stings of their fate still intact and only one single event could sever them;  **Ragnarök…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be continuing both go the AU's and there will be one shots. Of course and Sjöfn will return for the canon story of Thor 3 and possibly for Age of Ultron. 
> 
> I really wanted this to be bittersweet. How do you think I did?


End file.
